We’re back in 2020

Posted January 29, 2020

The last time we sat down to write about Nicolas Cage, it was October of 2015.

A lot has since happened.

For me, for you, for the world. There’s been a lot of churn. In that span of time, Game of Thrones collapsed on itself, Papa John collapsed on himself, and Nicolas Cage had two marriages collapse on themselves. But one thing remained sturdy and unshakable during this turbulent half-decade: Cage’s prolific cinematic output.

There are 21 new Cage films in his oeuvre. That’s about four films a year. That’s insane. There’s throwing yourself into your work, but this is beyond anything I would have guessed. This is Tyler Perry–level.

Still, the increasing pulp nature of the films answers many of my Cage-prayers. If you want to do Nouveau Shamanic: do it. Chew the scenery like Wrigley’s. If they won’t cast you as a superhero legend, start doing animated superhero voice work. If nobody’s campaigning for you to get an Oscar, hack children to death with Selma Blair. When Hollywood frees you of all expectations but your cachet still gets you work, then you truly become free. Just ask Werner Herzog.

Our newfound enthusiasm hasn’t addressed the elephant in the room. If Cage has been doing all this exciting stuff, why the silence from the Cage Match staff?

We needed a break. We’d caught up on all of Cage’s movies, and the unobligated time with no new content to digest felt good. It gave us the capacity to work on other projects. I started writing and performing standup and focusing on physical fitness. Our publisher learned a new language and perfected his salsa recipe. It was a really rewarding time for the whole team. And sure, every once in a while a new Cage movie would come out and we’d say, “Yeah, we really should get back to reviewing.” But days bled into weeks into months into years.

There was a second, curious thing that didn’t change, that remained as constant as Cage’s production schedules: feedback from you. From our loyal fans and fellow Cage fanatics. At a steady rate, through all 4½ years of our hiatus, you would send us Cage news, clips, and memes. It didn’t miss a beat. Some folks even sent us presents. I currently have not one, not two, but three reversible sequin pillow shams that reveal Nic’s face when you run your hand along the surface. Unlike us, your enthusiasm couldn’t be tempered. It was contagious.

As critically acclaimed slasher films like Mandy started appearing, a deep pressure to restart the project built. Then, one cold day earlier in January, a friend reached out via Twitter to let us know the Cage Match website was severely malfunctioning, making it impossible to read. That was when the momentum shifted for our entire staff.

By January 2015, we had done what to our knowledge nobody had ever done: watched and written about every Nicolas Cage movie. But now, in order to preserve and display in the new decade the work we’d already accomplished, our webmaster would have to rebuild the entire site to get it working again.

But the Cage Match staff knew that if we were going to dedicate that much work to site maintenance, it would also be our obligation to go all the way and make it truly up-to-date. To finish what we started, and tackle the art we missed in our dormancy. We owe it to ourselves, and to Nic, but mostly to you: our supporters who loved this idea from day one in 2013 and continue to love it today.

Look for new movie write-ups and more frequent news updates going forward. Follow us on Twitter or subscribe to the RSS feed for updates. We’re back, like Benjamin Gates will be if National Treasure 3 finally ever gets made. Which it should. We only have so much time before Jon Voight becomes too racist old to act.

So that about covers all the news we have.

Well…there is one more thing.

During our break, something bizarre happened. Two degrees of separation proved how small this stupid world is. One of my best friends signed a lease on a fancy apartment in downtown Los Angeles. As they were wrapping up the paperwork, the property manager casually mentioned, “Now that you’re officially a resident here, it means your neighbor is Nicolas Cage.”

But that’s a very long story to tell another time. Right now I have something vastly more important to do: steal the Declaration of Independence.